I hate to say it, but life right now is about as boring as it gets. I would classify it as the calm before the storm.
I fell hard off my “ride the snake” bandwagon. I was still eating somewhat healthy, but since I got back from my trip to Vegas I haven’t been nearly as motivated as I was prior to. I jumped back on this week and am going at it harder than before. I started the second phase of my supplemental campaign and started taking Creatine in addition to Hydroxycut and Meal replacement drinks. I am beginning to survive solely on liquids and the weird thing about it all is that I am never really hungry any more. Here is a snapshot of my food for yesterday, and I feel gay talking about this because the bottom line is that this new diet is about as unmanly as it gets.
Breakfast: half a cup of low fat yogurt. Yep, I said it, LOW FAT yogurt. WTF you say? Me too. For three months I was eating regular yogurt. Then I asked my wife to pick up my usual two vats full of yogurt a week, and she came home with low fat yogurt. It tastes a little like yogurt, but not. If I can enter a weird moment with you, I would classify it as tasteless spooge. If served warm I would have to question my sexuality. I still do while I eat it anyway…
I take Hydroxycut Hardcore and fishoil with breakfast.
Around 10am I will have half of a meal replacement shake.
Around noon, I will have the other half of the meal replacement shake. I also will take the creatine at this point.
Around 4 I take my second hydroxycut and fish oil for the day in prep for either the gym or twisting balloons for the evening.
If I get to the gym, I will get a health shake for dinnner post workout.
When I get home I take my second dosage of creatine.
That’s it. That is what enters my body on a daily basis other than the a standard meal here or there when I get to sit down with my wife which isn’t that often. This lifestyle was so hard at first, since my true love in life was to eat good food. And good food is anything that is bad for you. But, my body has grown used to the fact that I can’t do that any longer.
Last night at the gym, I was on an eliptical machine next to a guy that smelled like a bag of asses. Just thought I would put that out there. I have to begin scrutinizing who I get on a machine next to because I seriously at one point put the towel over my nose and pretended to wipe my face for a good 10 minutes to complete my workout. In all seriousness, the smell was as if he had sweat for two days straight without using any sort of deodorant, combined with crapping his pants while he worked out. I thought about it for a good minute that thought that I should have earned a metal for staying next to him for as long as I did, and I will remember that guy in the future to save my lungs from breathing in the wretched stench that this guy emitted.
On a final gym note, there is a total tranny that works out at my gym. It’s great. He/she has hair like a woman, wears makeup like a woman, dresses like a woman, has fake boobs like a woman, but has a weiner. He/she is ripped, too. In better shape than 90 percent in the gym. What amazed me most was that He/she was wearing spandex that explicitly drew attention to his package. I honestly looked around to see if cameras were rolling because I might be on some sort of joke show.
I just finished a booked called “I hope they serve beer in Hell” by Tucker Max. I will share some of my thoughts soon on that. My best friend Schief is the man behind the Fukudometer and is beginning to get international fame because of a name he slapped on cardboard as well as some Japanese numbers. It’s quite funny really.
Filed under: Boobies, Cubs, Exercise, Schief, bag of asses, balls, body, boredom, fat, muscles, ride the snake, smelly, stink, weird
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