Busted Knee

Typically when I go to Las Vegas, the after effects upon my arrival home last maybe a day or two, but never longer.  Maybe longer if I do very poorly at the tables and my wife gives me the cold shoulder  if I lose a good chunk of change.  But never this long. 

This story actually reminded me that I never finished explaining the craziness that was my trip to Vegas over New Years.  I will revisit the story, but for right now I will only touch upon tiny pieces pertinent to the knee. 

2008 sucked in many ways.  When I am older and look back on my life, I can’t say that 2008 will be one of the years I want to rekindle.  2008 must have felt the same about me as I did about it because at 5 minutes to midnight this past NYE, it might as well have kicked me in the groin as a going away gift.  This is what happened…

The wife and I are in Vegas.  On the 30th of December we go out for a nice dinner, back to the hotel room to hang out, and then the wife wants to go to bed around 1:30am Vegas time (which is 3:30am Chicago time so she did good for her first full night in Vegas.)  Not me, though.  As she is ready to drift off to sleep, I am getting some comfy clothes on and getting ready to head down stairs to play some Pai Gow Poker.  8 hours and 20 free Captain and Cokes later, I am drunk and up a good chunk of change.  It’s almost 10am Vegas time and I haven’t had a wink of sleep so I head back up to the room.  For this trip, I decided since it was the wife and I that I would get a suite that offered a large whirlpool tub.  If you have been to Vegas and never had the experience of recovering from an all night terror, I would highly recommend the whirlpool tub.  Three hours in and out of consciousness in the whirlpool was as good as 8 hours of regular sleep.  We get dressed and by 2pm we are out of the hotel on our way to New York New York to buy tickets to Cirque Du Soleil’s Zumanity. 

There are so many aspects of this day that should be in itself a post, but I have to get to midnight and will revisit certain aspects of this day. 

We tried to get tickets to Zumanity, but instead I found myself on a bus going to tour some property call “Tahiti Village” since my wife is a penny pincher.  3 1/2 hours later I am emotionally scarred by the boiler room sales tactics and we have tickets in hand for Zumanity and only one hour to get dressed for the show.  We see the show (totally seperate post as well) and have 45 minutes before midnight on the strip.  Head back to our hotel, change into warm clothes so that we don’t freeze our ass off on the strip, and head down to Las Vegas Boulevard to watch fireworks off the rooftops at roughly fifteen minutes till midnight. 

We are not allowed to walk over Las Vegas Boulevard since the bridges over the road are closed.  We can only exit on the street level which in hindsight was a huge mistake.  As we are greeted by a very large crowd we began to get crushed since no one was moving and everyone continued out the exit.  I decided that we are going to climb over the barrier on to Las Vegas Boulevard since it was closed to traffic.  As I force my way through the crowd with wif e in tow, I climb up the 4 ft tall barrier that has metal spikes mounted on top of it to prevent such a climb.  As I stand up to leap over, my toes catch the metal bar and I am now falling head first 5 feet down towards the pavement.  I catch myself with my hands and my left knee bangs on the ground before I do what had to have been the most ungraceful barrel roll in Las Vegas history.   I jump up to the laughter of many drunk idiots and help my wife climb on the barrier to which I lift her over and walk way with her in my arms.  Trying to be a man, even though I know I haven’t been in this much pain for many many years. 

After we get to an area where we can finally breath, I survey the damage and I have gravel embedded in my palms and blood begins to seep through my jeans where my left knee hit the pavement.  I am pretty sure that either my right wrist is either sprained really badly or fractured.  I look at my watch and at 2 minutes until midnight, 2008 delivered the biggest kick to the groin yet for what was just one shitty year. 

Fast forward now to February 1st 2009.  It’s been more than a month since Vegas and I am mostly healed.  I still have marks on my palms from the fall and there are still signs of a scab on my knee cap.  Whenever I put pressure on my left knee it still hurts pretty bad.  I began to feel my knee and to my surprise I can physically feel that my knee cap has been chipped.  A piece of my kneecap moves on my left knee that doesn’t on my right and it hurts when I touch that one particular spot right on the tip of my knee cap.  So, it’s busted.  Thanks Vegas. 

I am most concerned about the knee since I want to go see someone about it, but fear what they might say.  I am off to Denver in 6 weeks to ski for a bachelor party and the last thing I want to hear is that I need surgery to fix my knee.  But on the other hand, if I don’t go to see someone I am concerned that skiing will make it worse and I might just destroy the thing while skiing.  I don’t really know what to do.  I have two little people on each of my shoulders doing the whole “Go to the doctor” vs “don’t be a pussy” argument thingy in my brain and I don’t know which one to listen to. 

I have more going on in my brain, but no more time, so I will have to share my oriental balloon twisting competition story later.

Filed under: 15885677, 15888541, Blood, Busted Knee, Cry baby, Tahiti Village, Vacation, Vegas, achy, asspain, body, sore, train wreck, weird, wife

Overwhelmed

That is a good word today.  Overwhelmed.  Not with work, but with church crap and it’s killing me.  Somehow I inherited responsibility on a Pancake Breakfast at our church and I am overly pissed because I don’t give a rat’s ass about it.  It’s not mine.  I’m not doing anything for it.  So, as I did nothing and the event neared, the people who used to run it started a smear campaign making it appear to everyone at our church that I am dropping the ball.  This has passed the funny point because I can’t even attend the event, much less run it.  I have even gone to the extent of telling people I don’t have time.  But no one will do it. 

So, here I sit today trying to work while calling Sam’s club and Jewel osco to order 38 gallons of orange juice and 12 gallons of Milk.  I bet you didn’t think obtaining that many gallons of milk and juice could be a difficult thing, did you.  It shouldn’t be.  But for some reason when you call sam’s club and jewel osco the fine people at the customer service desk forward you to the dairy section where you will either get an elderly man that can’t hear you because he’s on the loud sales floor or you get a stocker who has no authority to handle such a complex transaction.  Thanks to the old guy, my entire sales floor now knows that I am in need ot 38 gallons of juice and 12 gallons of milk.  I have had several coworkers stop by asking me what the hell I’m going to do with 38 gallons of juice.  Why can’t I hit two different grocery stores the morning of without preordering?

What sucks even more about this is if I truly did not do anything about this event and let it fall apart, so would my name and reputation at church.  What a mess.  I am so ready to just move to a church where people have no idea who I am and I can be like a normal person and attend Mass and not have to worry about arriving before and staying for several masses to sell Pancake Breakfast tickets.

On a lighter note, I played video games last night online with strangers for the first time.  I would say it was accidental really.  Having only had the Wii set up for two days now, I am still experimenting with it and clicked on one of the Mario Kart options to which it launched a screen and within 1 minute I was racing with strangers from all over the world.  Three hours later it was midnight and time to put it away.  The last time I was this into a video game system must have been well over 15 years ago and I keep waiting for my mother to come busting in the room and screaming at me to finish my homework.  

I don’t know what it is, but by the time I got home last night, I quickly showered, cooked dinner, did the laundry, did the dishes and looked at my wife as if to say “I did my homework, can I play the Wii now?”  It’s sad that something so funny as the Wii can make me feel like a little kid again.  If I wasn’t so lean on vacation hours with our 10 day Christmas trip to Las Vegas and Phoenix coming up for New Years, I would call in sick and play that thing all freaking day.

Filed under: Church, Cry baby, Wii, asspain, grouchy, peer pressure, wife

Rainman

Last night I brought my wife to tears and I feel just absolutely horrible thinking about it.  Upon my arrival home for what I thought would be a fun evening together, I recommended that we go for a bike ride.  She agreed and off we went. This is the second bike ride that she and I have ever been on, and the 78 degree temp in mid october felt like it was summer.  We had a nice hour long bike ride through the neighborhood, and arrived home in time for me to begin dinner and prepare for Monday Night Football. 

On Mondays I like to cook dinner and have everything finished so we can sit down just before the game begins so I can watch while we eat.  Now I know that isn’t a “quality” dinner time with the wife, which is why I go out of my way to get home from work early so we can either go for a walk or in this instance, a bike ride so stop with the “that’s unhealthy” thoughts already. 

As I walked into the house sweaty, tired, and uncomfortable from riding the bike, I get ready to start preparing dinner.  I decided to cook out on the grill.  With all the windows open in the house, I can stand out on the deck with a large window open so that I can hear and watch the pre monday night football show on ESPN while I cook.  It’s a Win Win.  I cook dinner and get to watch football.  My wife exited the living room as I looked at her and begin singing the Monday Night Football theme.  As I pick up the controller I sing “Are you ready for some football!!!?!!!”  “A Monday Night Party!!!”  My wife has now completely gone out of site. 

So, I turn on the television and see that a movie is on the FX channel since the pre football show isn’t on yet, and I get a blank screen with the message “This channel is not available”.  Weird, I thought since I watch that channel all the time.  Thinking it’s a Directv issue, I decide just to put it on ESPN and wait until the program begins, so I flip it to ESPN and behold, I get the same black screen and message.  I go to the local stations to find that they are working just fine. 

This is where I began to seriously panic.  It wasn’t more than six months ago that my wife cut back on our directv package to save money.  I lost several channels that I watched on a very frequent basis and we fought over it for some time.  I gave in since saving money is in our best interest and I settled for the channels that we do still have which I will admit is a lot.  I also realized that yesterday was Columbus day leaving my wife home all day to pay the bills which means that she was looking for ways to cut more money out of the budget and I am now staring at an hour before kickoff without ESPN, thus leaving me unable to watch Monday NIght Football. 

My wife is in our bedroom. 

“Honey, did you do anything today with Directv to alter our channels in any way?”  I asked this knowing the answer, but hoping she would say “No.” 

“Maybe…why?” she asks back fearful of what is to come. 

She came out to the living room to experience what I believe has to be the most immature embarrasing act of my life.  In between me telling her to get her ass on the phone with Directv and reverse everything she had done and saying that if she didn’t she would see me re-enact violently the scene from rainmain where Dustin Hoffman had a fit over not getting to watch The Peoples Court, I might have said other immature things.  I don’t recall because at one point I had plugged my ears and began screaming while stomping on the floor in front of the television. 

My wife, being a kindergarten teacher, was albe to identify that she was right smack dab in the middle of a six year old breakdown and reatreated back to the bedroom to call Directv.  After five minutes of me slamming cupboards and pots and pans, ESPN appeared on the television screen and my rage began to settle.  Within a good five miutes my behavior had begun flashing through my brain and embarrasment began settling in. 

I think I apologized for my behavior no less than fifty times including one mid prayer before dinner directly to my wife.  If telling God that I am sorry for acting like a five year out loud in front of my wife doesn’t tell her I am truly sorry, then I don’t know what will. 

I don’t know what my issue is, but I know this little incident signifies a bigger issue.  I need help.

Filed under: Addiction, Cry baby, Rain Man, bitchy, grouchy, stupid, train wreck, weird, wife

The perfect storm…of boredom

This past weekend came and went, and as I predicted last Friday, I am getting old and boring.  It also didn’t help that almost every single close friend I have was out of town this past weekend also. 

So, my wife left town for the weekend, and if I could have written a perfect weekend, it would have included doing something more than cleaning the house and garage and chillin with my cats.  The highlight of it certainly wouldn’t have been picking up hotwings for dinner from a new restaurant that opened up down the street and then falling asleep on the couch not long thereafter.  It might have included some sort of adult interaction beyond the smile and wave from an incredibly obese friend of a neighbor while I was sweating profusely in the garage cutting down boxes for recylcing. 

While in the midst of realizing how boring my weekend was going to be, I managed to drag my ass out off the couch (my weekend bed) at 9am on Saturday morning to watch my god son’s T-ball game.  It was then that I realized that once my wife and I start having children, then boredom will be non-existent and that I should probably enjoy it while I can.  I commented to my friends that tee ball at 9am on a Saturday morning is a bit early…to which they replied something about 9am being late on a Saturday morning since the children usually are up and going crazy around 6am.  I can’t wait.

Filed under: Cry baby, Honey do list, stupid, unmotivated, weekend, wife

Its so hard to say goodbye

Last night after twisting balloons at Red Robin I was talking with my wife.  I got excited at the thought of having nothing on my schedule this Wednesday evening.  Then it hit me that this is the last weekday evening until mid August that I will not have an obligation of some sort.  So, I shall call tonight my overcommitment celebratory evening.  Or, the “I can’t say NO celebration”. 

What to do…what to do.  I plan on going to the gym.  After that I should probably shower and I should fold laundry…but if this is a celebratory evening, how is that celebratory?  It should be a last meal sort of night, so maybe a video game?

For those of you who think that I am exaggerating, here is a peek at what I have commited to since the word NO is rarely heard in my vocabulary. 

Monday:  Church Softball games at 6:00pm followed by a semimandatory trip to the sponsor where libations are forced against my will down my throat.  Church softball is funny.  Grown church men fight.  I have even witnessed twin 45 year old brothers on another church team beat the shit out of each other.  Of all the softball leagues I have ever been in, this Catholic Church 16″ softball league is the farthest from God out of all of them. 

Tuesday:  Gotta pay some bills.  Twisting balloons at Red Robin in Algonquin from 6:00 until 8:00pm.  This is a doozy.  I leave my day job at 4:30, and drive an hour and a half in rush hour every tuesday to twist balloons for many children each night.  It’s not the money I make each evening that makes me happy, but the many birthday parties that I get referrals for since each and every table gets a business card. 

Wednesday:  12″ softball league with friends.  New league this year.  I am most excited about this league since this will be the first time I am on a team with some of my closest and best friends.  It could be great, or it could suck. Only time will tell.  On a side note, I am the starting pitcher for both teams and I am interested to see how badly I pitch in 12″ since the mound is 10 feet farther back vs. the 16″ mound. 

Thursday:  Billiards from 6:00-1:00am  This is a rough one since it usually leads to a hangover for the mandatory 8:00am Friday morning team meeting.  I have been playing pool for many many years and will be heading to Las Vegas in less than two weeks to compete in the US National Championships.  Hopefully I will do well. 

Friday:  Gotta pay more bills. I head off on the same drive to Algonquin to twist balloons at Nero’s Pizza.  I enjoy Nero’s a bit more than Red Robin since there are fewer children and I get to twist for adults as well.  Adding Nero’s to my weekly balloon entertainment lineup has literally doubled the amount of calls I get for private events and is another added step to the promiseland of doing balloons full time and making a decent living while doing it. 

Saturday and Sunday has now become injected with anywhere from 2-5 balloon events now.  Rarely will a weekend come and go where I don’t have some sort of balloon engagement. 

Mix in random church meetings, the occasional Cubs game, and three vacation trips, and you have the making for a ridiculously crazy summer. 

I have been fearing this weekfor some time and it is finally arrived.  I just have to wonder at what point I crack and say enough.  I am really getting excited at the concept of having children.  I have heard from many friends that a great benefit to children is having a reason to say that you can’t do something.  This will be my Ironman summer.  I hope I am up for it.  I put the over under at June 19th for when I hit the wall. 

Filed under: Church, Cry baby, Cubs, Exercise, Overcommitment, excuse, grouchy, peer pressure, train wreck, work

“Put your elbows on the table…”

Yesterday will go down in the archives of my life as possibly one of the worst ever. 

“Put your elbows on the table..” He said.  If you don’t know what that means, let me back up and work up to it.

Yesterday started off shitty to begin with.  When taking out the garbage on Monday night, I managed to hit a patch of ice and fell.  The rolling garbage can fell too.  I think I hit the ground harder because the garbage can wasn’t whimpering as loud as I was as I rolled it out to the street.  I hurt my back.  I think it might be the worst that my back has ever felt.  Either something is torn or I have punctured a lung.  I can’t be certain.  Anytime that I breath or move suddenly I wince in pain.  I would assume that if my lung was punctured, I would really know and I would have gone to the hospital, so I am leaning towards something being torn.  I will give it a few more days. 

So, getting out of bed Tuesday morning and getting dressed was a treat.  I was off to work.  Upon arrival and review of my daily outlook calendar of appointments and conference calls, it shocked me to see that I had a Urologist appointment scheduled for 2:30pm.  Joyous.  I haven’t seen one of them in a few years.  I have been having issues that I won’t describe here, but I can say that these issues were major in my life 10-12 years ago and I had to have surgery.  Now the issues have slowly crept back into my life which is setting off alarms everywhere now that my wife and I are considering having children. 

My new Urologist isn’t very nice.  The nurse asked me all of the standard fare questions as she typed them into the computer in my little room.  After a good 10 minute wait the doctor finally arrived.  He was an older Doctor wearing very eccentric pants and shoes.  Upon arrival, he introduced himself and then sat down at the computer.  He began to type and click the mouse.  I was unable to see the monitor from where I was because there was a privacy screen.  He typed and clicked for a good 7-10 minutes while I sat there in the quiet room.  No questions, no chatter…I honestly felt I was back in my high pressure close the sale days where the first person to talk would lose.  I lost.  I noticed a pamphlet next to the doctor that was covering “No-Needle, No-Scalpel, Vasectomy”.  I instantly thought about my friend Toms (www.stupidtom.com) questions regarding this “non-invasive” procedure, and saw my chance to get some answers.  Tom’s concern from what I recalled was a question about where the sperm goes.  His answer was very scientific and he discussed how the semen remains the same since that doesn’t come from where the sperm cells come from.  The sperm cells get absorbed in the body (he used some fancy term to say that it doesn’t cause any problems when absorbed since they are only cells that the body created to begin with…something like protein enzymes or something technical like that.)  But I will type word for word a potential complication as it is stated in the pamphlet:

“Sperm granuloma, a hard, sometimes painful lump about the size of a pea may form as a result of the sperm leaking from the cut vas deferens.  The lump is not dangerous and is almost always resolved by the body in time.  Scrotal support and mild pain relievers are usually all that are needed for symptoms, thought I may suggest other treament.”

“Congestion, a sense of pressure caused by sperm in the testes, epididymis, and lower vas deferens, may cause discomfort some 2 to 12 weeks after vasectomy.  Like granuloma, congestion usually resolves itself in time.”  

I won’t comment on this.  I will let the words speak to each of you in it’s own little way.  Back to me and my quiet wait.  I honestly think he was checking email.  Checking email or playing sudoku online.  Maybe even a cross word? 

We finally got down to the tests. Most of everything he said was good news.  I have to do some more testing to be sure, so more will come.  After he began explaining what was going on, he pointed at the table and said, “Put your elbows on the table” as he reached for a tube of jelly.  I can’t be certain what happened next because it is all a bit foggy, but I remember him saying something about ”not fighting it” and while throwing a box of kleenex at me to “clean myself up”.  As I drove away a little tear streamed down my cheek.  (being over dramatic) 

Ok, so there wasn’t a tear, but definitely a grimace at what I had just experienced…until…wait for it…BAM, BAM!  Within 5 minutes of having a finger shoved in and around my rectum I hit a pothole that destroyed my two right tires.  It had seriously been  5 minutes since one of the most traumatic events occured in my life until I was now unable to get off the road due to having tires shredded by a three foot long pot hole that had to have been 8-10 inches deep. 

An officer called in for a tow truck since I was actually blocking one of two lanes, and AAA wasn’t going to be able to get someone to me for a good 45 minutes to an hour.  My wife picked me up, we followed the tow truck to the auto place and the wife and I continued on to the restaurant in Algonquin where I twisted balloons and she graded papers and did school work for a good two hours. 

…yep, I would say that yesterday sucked something hard.

Filed under: Cops, Cry baby, achy, balloon, balls, body, pain, scared, scrotum, stupid, weird, wife

Food is my new porn

Throughout my recent weight loss quest, I have given up on food that is bad for me.  Now the term “bad for me” could mean several different things.  It could be truly good for me to eat while I am eating it, but it will not yield the appropriate results for my epic battle against the evil fat that lives within my body. 

I still think and will always think that God played the greatest joke on humanity when he made food that tastes good bad for you and food the tastes bad very good for you. 

I love the fact that my gym has little 15″ LCD televisions on every single cardio machine so that I can channel surf while I work out, but I never realized how much advertising is on the television for fast food restaurants.  I have debated with the idea of putting a comment in the box that they should implement some sort of technology that will edit out all of the food commercials while I work out.  It truly is torture. 

Go to this blog: http://www.thefoodpornographer.com/

Looking at their food dishes is hotter to me right now than looking at naked women.  It really is. You might think I am joking, but I am not.  I don’t know what that says about me.  Maybe it says that I can’t succeed in my lifestyle change.  I could sit here and stare at all of that good tasting food all freaking day.  I couldn’t find a photo of the people that run this blog, but I would have to imagine that they are very fat people.  If they have eaten the food that is in every single image (over 6,100) then I would put them high on the list of potential heart attack victims.  Not that I am judging, but that food just looks so damn good….

Filed under: Blog, Blogroll, Cry baby, Exercise, Fatty, body, boredom, fat, weird

Two things I want to be when I grow up

1.  A Mystery Discount Obtainer

2.  A Fake Bum Spyer

I don’t know why, but I would.  Recently my brother in law had found a business for sale onlin and emailed to to me saying that I should look into it.  There were a few holes in his email, and honestly it downright angered me since it showed that my brother in law knows jack shit about me.  I conveyed my displeasure to my wife and she became upset with me since he was only trying to be nice.  I say Bullshit! 

The business he emailed to me was a shitty party place where they have built themed rooms that you can rent out for birthday parties.  You book the room they provide the costumes (fireman, princess, makeup, etc) and one party person to run the party.  They have like 8 rooms.  Well, my brother in law thinks that just because I twist balloons, that I am inspired to run a crappy birthday party day care for a living.  Not only did he think that I should buy it, but his logic was that I could entertain for the parties and my wife could run the business side of the house with her teaching/organization skills to manage the party part.  WTF?  I couldn’t run the organization part? 

The other reason that I was offended that he sent over the business for me to buy was because it cost 100K.  Once again, he obviously doesn’t know me because if he did, he would know that I don’t have 100 thousand dollars.  Not only do I not have a hundred thousand dollars, I don’t have one hundred thousand of anything.  I don’t even think that I have a hundred thousand pennies, much less nickels, dimes, quarters, or dollars.  Him emailing me to buy a business worth 100,000 is like me emailing him the link to a Russian Bride site (http://www.chanceforlove.com/) (it’s my favorite for anyting Russian Bride) to find a nice new Russian Bride fully knowing that he is married to my sister in law saying “Here, marry one of these women.” 

Wow, I am glad that I got that out of my system. 

Let me get back to the two things I would drop everything for at a moments notice to do for a living granted I was given a contract for a lifetime of work. 

1.  Mystery Discount Obtainer is someone that a department store or shop might hire to test the security people who are in charge of catching shoplifters.  Basically a mystery discount obtainer’s job is to walk around a store and steal as much shit as possible without getting caught.  This person would show where the security people need help to become better at catching shoplifters.  How awesome is that?  I get paid to steal?  The only downside would be the highs and the lows knowing that you just stole something and you have to give it back. 

I think if I were to ever decide to take up stealing and get caught, I might use this line:  “Congratulations on catching me!  I am Dennis with your local Mystery Discount Obtainers International.”  “I was hired by your corporate office to come down here and steal as much as I could and see if you would catch me.” “Way to go!” ”Here is everything I have stashed in my underpants…ooOOoops…one thing snuck to the back of my drawers…here ya go. ”Have a nice day.”  “Buh-bye.” 

2.  A Fake Bum Spyer.  I don’t know if I would enjoy this as much as the mystery discount obtainer but it would be a fascinating profession if I do say so.  What you  do is you get paid to observe people who beg for money on the street and then watch to see if they proceed to walk around the corner and get into their nice BMW or Lexus and drive to their family house.  I think watching homeless people all day might get a little depressing, though. 

If any of you come across businesses advertising the need for such individuals, please let me know. 

Filed under: Cry baby, In laws, confused, grouchy, mean, stupid, wife

The first rule of Fight Club…

…is you don’t talk about fight club…

“We who are about to die, Salute you!” (one of my favorite quotes from my one of my fave movies Gladiator. 

“Two men enter! One man leaves…”

That was always what our fraternity brothers would chant before each brotherhood boxing match that would take place only during the brotherhood lock-in once a year.  The brotherhood boxing would usually take place between the Mad Dog 20/20 chug competition and the stripper arriving.  Nobody would ever get hurt really during the boxing.  I fought a guy that resembled Drago from Rocky 4 once and that was my last fight ever.  I got a bloody nose.  I held strong for the 3 rounds and I was proud to say that I stood toe to toe with one of the biggest baddest guys in our house for the whole bought.  I don’t really know where I was going with this, so let’s get back to the story at hand. 

Today in my office cafeteria, two guys had to be seperated while screaming and preparing to fight.  It was quite funny because working for a very human resources heavy company shit like that doesn’t happen very often.  Lucky for me I had front row seats and unlucky for me fists were not thrown.  I felt like I had been taken back to my junior high days where you hear that there is going to be a fight after school, show up at the alley where it’s supposed to happen only to see the two people talking out their anger. 

This is how it unfolded. 

I am third in line at the cafeteria.  The first guy in line is waiting for a pan of sliced chicken to be brought out so he can complete his fajita order.  The second guy in line is waiting for the same chicken.  I, too am waiting for the chicken.  The cafeteria guy comes out and sets the pan on top of the plexiglass counter as he walks around leaving the pan of sliced chicken sitting out right in front of us.  Before the cafeteria guy makes his way around the counter, the first guy reaches over, picks out a little piece of chicken with his bare hands and proceeds to put it in his mouth right in front of at least 8 people waiting in line for that chicken. As he chews he grumbles something about wanting to make sure it tastes all right…  He did it as if we had just pulled the finished turkey out of the stove during Thanksgiving and we were all family or something.  Guy number two begins to yell at guy number one saying that his hands were not clean, and that was the rudest most disgusting thing that he could do considering that he put his fingers into the food that we were all about to eat.  My jaw dropped at the confrontation unfolding before me. 

Guy number one replied with something along the lines where he only touched the piece of chicken he picked up and that he had recently washed his hands. 

Guy number two replied with something along the lines where he didn’t give a rats ass and that he should learn better etiquette at work since unlike his house, he didn’t work in a trailer. 

Guy number one slowly realized that guy number two just called him trailer trash and began to push. 

Cafeteria workers stopped the fight before I had a chance to break out my old junior high squeal “Fight!” “Fight!” ”Fight!” for the whole cafeteria to hear.   I was so disappointed. 

The funniest part about this whole transaction of words was that these two guys I would guess are in their mid to late 50’s and the scrawniest men I have laid eyes on.  I bet neither of them have been in an exchange like that since high school.  I was waiting for each of them to start crying. 

There is nothing better than an almost white collar corporate fight. 

Filed under: Cry baby, coworker, fight, train wreck, weird, work

The number one reason I won’t vote for Hillary

Call me sexist if you want to.  Call me a jerk.  Call me whatever you want to.  I am Republican by nature.  Not because I truly believe that I am republican but mostly because I had such a meager childhood that I am the type of guy that will jump at any chance to rub elbows with people that enjoy money.  (Not that money is the main differentiator between Democrat and Republican.)  I am sick of the way things are going in our country.  I was all for Bush.  I liked him, liked that religion was involved in his decisions since I like to think I am a pretty religious man.  But, I like Barack Obama for the upcoming election.  I don’t know why.  I think that Senator Hillary Clinton has too much baggage to be our president.  I personally don’t know what was stronger of her during the Monica Lewinsky scandal.  I am still torn to this day.  Was she strong for not leaving Bill Clinton after everything came out?  Or was it a sign of weakness that she didn’t say F-you! to him and kick him to the curb?  Being Catholic, I have to believe that she did the right thing by not leaving him, but deep down in a dark corner of my mind I wish she would have divorced him.  You know why?  Because I fear that if another country that we are in cahoots with gets caught with their penis in another countries mouth, Hillary will forget that it happened much like she did with her husband.   

Harsh?  I guess so.  I don’t mean to be, but I am.  And her breakdown today secured my concerns.  This is a snipit from the Chicago Tribune today:

(it can be found at this address: http://weblogs.chicagotribune.com/news/politics/blog/2008/01/clinton_chokes_up_with_emotion.html)

PORTSMOUTH, N.H. – One does not see Hillary Clinton’s eyes get misty in public very often, so there was an instant buzz in the room when she got choked up today in a café here.

The moment, which certainly appeared unscripted, happened near the end of her visit with undecided voters, as she was asked how she gets ready in the morning, how she keeps looking good on the road and who does her hair.

“It’s not easy,” she said, in her usual coolness. “And I couldn’t do it if I just didn’t, you know, passionately believe it was the right thing to do.”

But as she continued, the New York senator’s eyes started welling up.

“I have so many ideas for this country,” she said, choking up. “I just don’t want to see us to fall backwards.”

Sensing she was getting emotional, those in the cafe applauded.

“This is very personal for me,” she said, regaining her composure and getting back on message. “I’ve seen what’s happening, and we have to reverse it.”

Then, she got choked up again.

“Some people think elections are a game,” she said. “It’s about our country. It’s about our kids’ futures…Some of us put ourselves out there…But we do it, each one of us, because we care about our country. And some of us are right, and some of us our wrong. Some of us are ready and some of us are not. Some of us know what to do on day one, and some of us really haven’t thought that through enough.”

Regaining her composure, Clinton confessed to being tired from the rigors of the campaign trail.

“This is one of the most important elections America has ever faced,” she said. “So, as tired as I am, and I am…I’m going to make my case, and the voters get to decide.”

I don’t really know what to say.  Once again, is it o.k. for a woman to become a little emotional?  Yes, it most certainly is.  Do I feel comfortable knowing that when things get tough our leader is going to break down and shed some tears in front of America?  Not at all.  Not one bit.  What country is going to fear us with a leader that is going to cry when things get tough?  None that I know of.  She is not the least bit intimidating.  I can’t say that Barack Obama is a very intimidating fellow either, but there is a silent badass quality to him.  

Filed under: Barack Obama, Cry baby, Election, Hillary Clinton