Food is my new porn

Throughout my recent weight loss quest, I have given up on food that is bad for me.  Now the term “bad for me” could mean several different things.  It could be truly good for me to eat while I am eating it, but it will not yield the appropriate results for my epic battle against the evil fat that lives within my body. 

I still think and will always think that God played the greatest joke on humanity when he made food that tastes good bad for you and food the tastes bad very good for you. 

I love the fact that my gym has little 15″ LCD televisions on every single cardio machine so that I can channel surf while I work out, but I never realized how much advertising is on the television for fast food restaurants.  I have debated with the idea of putting a comment in the box that they should implement some sort of technology that will edit out all of the food commercials while I work out.  It truly is torture. 

Go to this blog: http://www.thefoodpornographer.com/

Looking at their food dishes is hotter to me right now than looking at naked women.  It really is. You might think I am joking, but I am not.  I don’t know what that says about me.  Maybe it says that I can’t succeed in my lifestyle change.  I could sit here and stare at all of that good tasting food all freaking day.  I couldn’t find a photo of the people that run this blog, but I would have to imagine that they are very fat people.  If they have eaten the food that is in every single image (over 6,100) then I would put them high on the list of potential heart attack victims.  Not that I am judging, but that food just looks so damn good….

Filed under: Blog, Blogroll, Cry baby, Exercise, Fatty, body, boredom, fat, weird

A cardboard coaster???

On any given day we will have 20-30 vendors in our buildings.  I sell a lot of their shit.  Sometimes the vendors walk around and give us stuff.  The cooler things would be squeeze balls, nerf guns, staplers, calculators, mugs, thumb drives,  pens, fun light up pens, light up cups, energy drinks, candy, slim jims… you know…crazy shit that makes life in a cubicle relatively enjoyable.  I saw the coolest thing.  It was a USB rocket launcher.  It plugs into your USB port and there was computer software that you could position it onto your cubicle wall and through the software, measure, aim, and launch at your enemy.  Good stuff. 

Well today a vendor walked through and handed me a cardboard beer coaster.  Yep, A cardboard beer coaster.  Not a fancy light up coaster. Not a cool plastic one, but a cardboard beer coaster with their logo on it. 

I can’t wait to use it.  It is everything I’ve ever dreamed of.  Talk about cheap ass.  It just happens to be the least sold vendor in this particular product category and the reason is demonstrated in the .003 cents that they spent to make me think of them vs. the other company that hosted a cubs roof top game and expected nothing in return. 

I am sick of money.  I will write about that tomorrow. 

I just came across a real gem of a blog site and I will blogroll it tomorrow, but check out the sneeze. www.thesneeze.com

I am a huge fan and I will honestly say that I have never been sitting in my cubicle by myself and laughed so damn hard at someone’s writing.  I recommend starting with the Steve, Don’t Eat It! section.  Funniest shit I have read in a long time.  Steve eats stuff that we have always wondered who did, and yep, it’s Steve! Yesterday I laughed so hard that 3 people came to my desk to ask me if I was alright. 

Filed under: Blog, Blogroll, work