Hey! Pepto Bismol!
That has been me since Christmas eve. If I had to choose an item that would depict my 2007 holiday celebration, it would be Pepto Bismol. Not just because of the crazy ass food served by my back woods family, but because of this virus that seemed to latch onto my ass the day before christmas and has nearly sent me to a doctor several times ever since. Yea! Pepto Bismol!
Christmas has come and gone and I am happy to report that I made it. There were times I doubted being able to make it, but I did. Here are a few of the highlights:
Favorite Christmas toy received: previously reported Kitchen Cooked Potato chips were in the lead until my wife came through with a remote controlled helicopter. bad ass
Funniest Christmas moment: during Christmas dinner on Christmas day with my in-laws. At the table, my father in law who, bless his heart, is now 84 years young, (comma alert) was complaining about how noisy everyone was being. To give you a little background, he recently was the receipient of hearing aids for the first time in his life. I say that they are turned up too loud, my wife disagrees. My point was proven up hearing these words exit his mouth during dinner:
“Would you stop chewing the lettuce so loudly, it’s hurting my ears!” Priceless. I had to bite my toungue from bursting out with laughter in front of everyone. That is something I never thought I would hear in my lifetime, someone complaining about the noise of lettuce chewing. It is my belief that they did not install hearing aids, but accidentally installed superhero sensors into his ears which allow him pick up on faint screams much like superman.
Funniest Dinner Served through my four days of travel: pan fried ham and some cheese/salsa/hamburger concoction. My mother’s stove broke down and all she had access to was a crock pot and skillet. So, she fried some ham, and poured a bunch of cheese/salsa/and skillet fried hamburger into a crockpot. Yummie. This meal would be the beginning of my 5 day binge of Hey! Pepto Bismol!
Filed under: fart, grouchy, mad cow, pain, poop, puke, scared, sleepy, smelly, sore, stink, stupid, weird, wife
