Summer Travels

Just got back yesterday from my first of two week long trips this July.  From the 2nd thru the 7th we were down in Georgia spending time with my little brother before he was deployed to Iraq for a year. 

Before I go into that while flying for the past week, I had a moment where a light bulb appeared above my head and proceeded to flicker for a few moments before popping. 

Airplanes come with oxygen masks.  They also are equipped with flotation devices.  Even seat belts to make sure you don’t fly out of your seat in the event of turbulence. 

Where the F are the parachutes?  How have we flown this long without parachutes on commercial airlines?  If it were up to me, I would rather give up the flotation devices for parachutes.  Considering that 95% of the continential flying is not over water, what on earth will a flotation device do for me?  Nothing.  But a parachute, that could save lives.  How many times has an airplane identified an issue or had some sort of failure where an emergency landing would be required?  In those situations how difficult would it have to to have made an announcement for everyone to lift up your seat, strap it on y our back and make your way to the door to jump?  If I knew that the plane was possibly going to crash you wouldn’t get any argument out of me when it came time to jump.  I am sure you would have those that would refuse to go and I say that’s their choice to stay on the plane and see if they can right the ship without crashing, but for me I don’t think so. 

Take the guess work out of it.  Include one of those slider things that were on planes during WWII.  Put the ring on the slider, jump out and the chute automatically deploys.  Piece of cake right?  I would imagine at 40,000 feet you probably couldn’t breath well so maybe a small oxygen mask with tank that could prevent passing out for 10 minutes could be included as well.  I don’t know.  This was purely an observation as I was flying and my wife didn’t buy my idea but then again she rarely does.

My trip to visit with my little brother was very nice. Short but nice.  I can’t really understand what could have been going through his mind the week before leaving his wife for a year but I don’t believe it was good.  The one thing that my wife and I did agree on is that we sure as hell wouldn’t want  3 other adults and 5 children living in our house during that final week.  They housed my mother, her dog, my older brother and his wife, along with their five children.  My wife and I didn’t want to get involved with that circus so we stayed at the Holiday Inn Express Northlake in Columbus Georgia.  I hesitate to include the Express in the description since this was one of the nicest Holiday Inn hotels I have ever stayed in.  The bottom line in my thought is that I would want some alone time with the wife if I knew we would be apart for so long.  Granted they probably got that alone time with everyone in the house sleeping but who wants to muffle anything when it’s going to be a year apart?  Not this guy. 

My little brother departed Tuesday evening on his journey to Baghdad, and the last anyone heard from him yesterday morning (Thursday) he called from Kuwait where he will be for two weeks before he moves into Baghdad.  There will be lots of prayers said over the next 12 months for his safe return. 

I have so much more to say, but no more time, so i’ll put something up again soon.  Have a great weekend!

Filed under: Brother, Iraq, Vacation

15 minutes

That’s all I got.  15 minutos.  I’m preparing to roll out for the weekend and I’m looking down the barrel of what just might be my busiest weekend for the balloon business yet.  5 events in the next 30 hours and two delivery pieces to create in between.  I am not usually able to stack four events back to back like I did on Saturday, but the stars lined up allowing me to work my ass off tomorrow.  So, tonight I will twist balloons for 3 hours at the restaurant.  Tomorrow morning I have to make a life sized Cinderella balloon sculpture and a large embarrassing 40th birthday balloon hat before I hit the road at 9:30am on my way to my first birthday party at 11am.  I head off to my second event, a family reunion that begins at 2pm.  Then a 4pm 40th birthday party and then I wrap it all up with a church picnic from 6:30 until 8:30pm.   I have already decided that beer will be had tomorrow night after the festivities in honor of working so hard.  That and the fact that it seems as though the general community is already beginning to celebrate the 4th of July.  I know it’s more than a week away but i’ve already begun the “so, what are you doing for the 4th?” conversations. 

Oh, if you have no idea what the hell I am talking about thus far, I am a professional balloon artist.  That might be good to know.  My website is www.iloveballoonanimals.com.  I am not a clown, just someone that can do extraordinary things with balloons. 

I’m nervous as we get closer to the 4th of July.  My little brother gets deployed on the 5th of July with the Army and will be heading to Iraq for a year.  I have seen my brother mature more in the past month while watching him get married and now prepare to go to war than I have seen in his previous 22 years of life. 

Have a good weekend.  Hopefully I will survive and tell of the tale where I twisted my fingers off.

Filed under: balloon

Too long

Apologies for the lack of posts over the past month.  If the first weekend of summer is any indicator as to how busy it will be, I should dig in and prepare for battle. 

A few highlights from the past few weeks of my life. 

My best friend got married.  I was the best man in what I can only describe as one of the most amazing weddings ever.   The wedding was held at Medinah Country Club, and anyone that lives in the Chicagoland area knows that you only get married at Medinah if you are either family of a  Medinah member or you have a very good friend that belongs to the club.  In this instance the father of the bride just happened to be close with a club member.  I could write a book about the night but I will try and keep it short. 

1. I gave the best man speech.  Chris and I had been at a few weddings together after he asked me to be his best man and after each best man speech he would comment to me about how unhearfelt they were coming from someone reading off of a piece of paper.  So, I kept it brief and from the heart.  I had 5 or 6 quick points to mention before I toasted to them and I made it through the toast.  I didn’t write a single thing down, and I didn’t rehearse it.  I won’t say I nailed it, but I am pretty sure that everyone enjoyed what I had to say in the 6-8 minutes that I talked. 

2. After my speech was over I got wasted.  I made a point to drink minimally before the speech but once my official best man duties were over, it was on. 

3. I learned that when I get really drunk I like to smack asses and kiss people on the cheek for photos.  I don’t know where the smacking asses thing came from but I was told by not only my wife, but many of my friends that I either smacked their ass or grabbed it throughout the night.  Guys and girls apparently.  I don’t really know what this says about me, but I’m not going to dwell on it. 

4. I looked at the photos on my digital camera from the post reception party that went until 2am and then the post post reception party that went until 5am and I don’t remember much of anything.  While scrolling through photos, the look of horror on the faces of those who I pulled in for the photo does tell me that maybe I was a bit out of control. 

5. In a monday morning meeting I had a flashback where when I stopped in my hotel room between after parties and grabbed a bottle of beer that I had been icing down.  I tried to pop the top off by wedging it onto the marble bathroom counter and proceeded to break of the entire top of the glass bottle.  I remember my wife having to remove the broken bottle from my hands as I was attempting to drink the beer without cutting my lips. 

6. They had a photo booth at the reception.  This is hands down the greatest thing you can do for a wedding reception. The booth is large enough to where 6-8 people can fit in it and take private photos.  When you mix an open bar with private photos, fun ensues towards the end of the night.  I’ll leave it at that.  The only thing keeping it from getting totally out of control is the simple fact that each set of 4 photos goes into a photo album with a personalized message that goes to the bride and groom. 

7.  I will never again book a balloon twisting event in the afternoon after an open bar wedding reception.  I had to twist balloons for 3 hours at a festival on the Sunday after the reception and I didn’t feel so well. 

That’s all that jumps out at me.  I can’t reiterate enough that next to my wedding this was truly one of the most enjoyable days of my life.  I am really happy for my best friend and hope that I didn’t do anything throughout the reception that might prevent him from ever wanting to talk to me again when he returns back from their 3 week honeymoon.

That’s about it.  I went boating on Saturday at the chain o lakes and ended up on Blarney Island.  I was out in the sun from 7am until the sun went down and my flesh will begin falling off of me in another 2 or 3 days.  I am redder than a lobster right now even though I applied some major sunblock. 

An observation in my life:  Many of my friends are becoming more responsible and partying less.  I have found myself in a role reversal lately where I am usually the responsible one who doesn’t get drunk and has to deal with friends that are bombed.  I have been cutting loose lately when I have had no responsibilities for driving only to be disappointed when those who usually go crazy are subdued.  I am still waiting for the perfect storm of friends and beer.  I don’t know when that’s going to happen, but hopefully soon. 

That’s it for today.  I’ll put more up soon!

Filed under: balloon, beer, drunk, weekend, wife

End of my rope

I don’t really know where the end of my rope saying came from but I know I am there.  I had one of my roughest days yesterday and nearly walked out of my job.  If it were not for the current level of unemployment I would have easily done so.  I sit in my office today seething at the selfishness of those around me and I realize that I am too nice.  Yesterday I took one to the chin and before I had a chance to regain my focus a second shot nailed me in the gut that put me down for a required 8 count.   The second blow will have permanent reprecussions that now have me plotting my next move because it’s very obvious that I will never succeed in the position I am in.  I have blown over three years of my life trying to achieve a promise that should have taken 12 months. Continually the rules get changed and I end up back at the drawing board.  I don’t deserve this.  I am too good in so many ways to be putting up with this. 

I don’t want to quit.  I hate quitting.  Anything.  I have quit jobs in the past not because I was not succeeding but because I became bored.  I am not bored right now, I just seem to continually get burned.  It might be time for me to dig out the old “who moved my cheese” book because it’s been moved once again. 

The only light shining in my life right now is my balloon entertainment business.  Bringing smiles to the faces of children and adults has become my escape from reality.  I put my heart and sole into that business and I sit behind a computer all day wishing I could be working on my side business full time instead.  The only thing keeping my business from booming is my full time job.  I need to make the jump but financially that can not happen right now. 

I almost wish some stranger would just walk up to me and slap me across the face and scream “snap out of it!”.  Things are difficult in my life right now, but the bottom line is I am blessed and I know that I am truly lucky.  It’s just a job. 

Time to get back to it.  Better start rebuilding my business so that I can get ready for next uppercut.

Filed under: work

Rollercoaster of a holiday weekend

I love three day weekends.  Usually.  This past three day weekend turned into a four day weekend as my little brother was married last Friday morning.  I have been dreading his wedding for many months as it was an extreme inconvenience to me, and now that the weekend is over, I have nothing but remorse as I feel regret in my feelings for the past few months. 

My issue was a Friday morning wedding.  Who gets married on Friday morning?  A soldier preparing to go off to war, that’s who.  My little brother has been given orders for 12 months in Iraq and this wedding was rushed to allow him and his wife to be to fly in last Thursday and get married on Friday.  It is my understanding that the Army pays more if you are deployed in the war and are married.  I don’t think I agree with this policy, but I assume the Army has their reasons.  If married soldiers get paid more to get married, aren’t they rewarding something that shouldn’t be done purely for financial benefit?  Going out on a limb here, but if you were to create a pie chart of marriage that end in a divorce, miliatary personnel might make up a good percentage.  Also, I was blown away at the fact that many women in the military rush to get pregnant so that they don’t get deployed to war.  I never thought about that before this weekend. 

The wedding was nice.  The reception was fun.  I had a 15 minute warning that I would be delivering essentially a best man speech and I think I pulled it off.  I considered it a practice run for the best man speech I will be delivering in a few weeks for my best friends wedding. 

The reception was a bit of a tattoo convention though which added to the fun.  My new sister in law has a pretty interesting family history that was on display and if you weren’t in Peoria Illinois, you might think that the family in attendance was a bit on the red neck side.  Any family that makes my family look normal has to be a bit unusual.  The last thing I will say is that it took me and my older brother several guesses to figure out who the brides actual dad was vs. the three x-step fathers in attendance.  The best was the maid of honor had a tattoo that spelled out cowgirl from shoulder blade to shoulder blade in what I could only describe as prison style tattoo work out in the open for everyone to enjoy.  It kind of completed the bridesmaid asian themed dress if you ask me.  That’s it…I’m done.  I had to get it out. 

In the end, I had a great time.  There was a keg of beer and and DJ.  It was at Wildlife Prairie Park in a room that opened up to  a huge deck overlooking a huge family of Bison.  Deer were walking literally 15 feet below us as they walked up to the balcony.  It was beautiful out as well, leading me to have an amazing time at my little brothers wedding regardless of the circumstances. 

The rest of the weekend was a blur. We did spend Sunday morning walking around at Wildlife Prairie Park trying to enjoy the wonderful weather we were having.  I saw my first live amazing wildlife confrontation ever.  There was a huge part of the park that had Wolves.  Apparently a snake wandered into the wrong pen, and we noticed all of the wolves acting strange.  They all began running to one of them that was barking at something on the ground.  Before you know it there were 5 wolves surrounding something and growling.  In an instance you saw one of the wolves jump back as the snake struck at it.  The snake moved onto a dirt path in the pen allowing every observer a perfect view at the confrontation.  It appeared to be a 7-8 foot black snake maybe a bull snake?  It positioned itself to look like a cobra where half of it was in an “S” position to allow it to hiss and strike each time a wolf tried to bite it.  It swiveled around as it was completely surrounded by the wolves striking as each neared.  I watched for more than 20 minutes as the snake fought off each wolf.  My jaw dropped in amazement since I would have bet my life savings that a non poisonous snake would be no match for a pack of wolves.  Maybe it wouldn’t be for non contained wolves.  I have to believe that maybe they have adjusted to not having to kill for food so this was more of a play session than a hunt.  It was cool to see none the less. 

Another wonderful weekend ahead.  I have several difficult decisions to be made regarding this upcoming summer.  I have a feeling it’s going to be ridiculously busy and I am doing everything I can to prevent from over committing.  I was contacted yesterday twist balloons for 8 hours a day on July 3rd, 4th, and 5th.  The money would be great, but do I really want to give up my July 4th weekend to work?  I don’t know.  Decisions, decisions.

Filed under: Brother, weekend, work

Rough weekend

On friday I was freaking out and with good reason.  Over Commitment is a good friend of mine and he comes over from time to time.  More than what I would prefer actually. 

I am glad to say that I survived this past weekend’s festivities.  I would say that I am a better man for it, but I don’t think that is true. 

The challenge:  Twist a 9 foot tall sculpture out of balloons that in some way resembles the Leaning Tower of Pisa.  Start at 10pm on Friday night and finish by 9am Saturday morning.  Also, go to church, create 3 link o loon balloon arches and 40 clusters of balloons for centerpieces. 

The result:  Success.  I twisted the Leaning tower and finished it around 6:30 am committing 8 and one half hours on one balloon sculpture.  When I was finished, I had a surreal moment when I realized that it wouldn’t fit in my car.  How on earth was I getting that thing from Round Lake down to Arlington Heights. It didn’t fit in my car, but did fit into my wife’s SUV.  That was a scary moment when I realized that I might have to strap a 9 foot tall balloon creation to the top of my little car to deliver it. 

As for the clusters, that was realitively simple.  Several women from the church were there already to help decorate and they inflated the clusters and tied them while I worked on the arches.  I did three Link o Loon arches, one with red, white and green, and two others green and red only.  This was my first time ever working with Link o Loons from Betallex and I have to say that I was unimpressed.  They kept popping or would have holes near the nozzles.  I have worked with balloons for 19 years and this was my least favorite balloon to work with in all that time.  When I left the event at noon between when I arrived back at the event, the link o loon arches contracted.  We had weighted them down to two support beams at the arc we needed.  When I arrived back at the event at 4:30pm, the arches had lowered and gotten smaller in distance from end to end.  I don’t know why that is, but each balloon had lost it’s size. 

Before the event, we were concerned that the arches would fall and even used some clear line to tie it to the ceiling in the event that the arch failed during the dance.  Is this common for Link o Loons filled with helium?   I have no idea.  I do know that unless I go through some training with betallex between now and my next decor job, I’ll stick with Qualatex.  As a balloon twister I do see lots of good things that I can use the link o loon balloons for in my twisted sculptures, however.  I did even use a few of them on Sunday at a birthday party while I entertained. 

On a funny note, around noon at the church, we realized that our disco ball that was in storage had disappeared.  I went from finishing the balloon decor to driving around trying to find someone in the northwest Chicago suburbs that sold a disco ball.  The first few party stores I visited with didn’t have them.  Luckly from my childhood I remembered that Spencer’s gifts usually had crazy stuff like that, so I went to the mall.  They had one in stock and it was mine.   A Full sized one, too.  Instead of storing it at the church, i’m taking it home with me and might even find some use for it around my house.  I might hang it above the turtle tank and turn the turtle light towards the disco ball giving Bruno (the turtle) a fun environment.  Can spinning lights make a turtle sick?  I would me if I had to look at it all day. 

By 8:00pm Saturday night, I was on a total of 4 hours of sleep on Thursday and zero hour of sleep on Friday, so I was mentally done.  I stopped by a friends housewarming party on the way home and was fast asleep around 11:00pm.   

Sunday I entertained for a party and that was a whole different craziness.  In all I inflated more than 1000 balloons (round and entertainer) and my hands are desperately in need of a massage/manicure.  I hesitate to say manicure because I am a man and it’s not my fingernails that need the attention so much as the joints.  My right elbow is very sore as well from using a pump on all those damn balloons.  I need some sort of inflater soon since I have been taking on larger jobs lately.  Photos to follow soon. 

My little brother’s wedding is this upcoming Friday.  I’ll post about that later.  Have a great week!

Filed under: Church, Overcommitment, balloon, pain, peer pressure, weekend

I have bitten off way more than I can chew…

Under promise and over deliver.  That’s a phrase that I have heard thousands of times in my life as a sales professional.  I have tried to adopt that saying for my balloon business and feel as though I have followed it pretty well thus far. 

Until now. 

I use my church as kind of a business lab of sorts.  I am a balloon twister that likes to do a little dabbling in balloon decor.  I wouldn’t likely take on a huge balloon decor job yet since I have very little experience, but for some reason each year during our church appreciation dinner, I feel the need to continually expand my offerings to see how far I can go.   A test of my own ability if you will.  I think I may have found out the extent of my own ability this week. 

This year’s theme for the church appreciation dinner is “A night in Venice”.  Italian themed.  Pasta, strolling violinist, DJ, lots of Chianti and assorted wines, and Italian decor.  Red, Green, and White.  I will be creating my first link o loon balloon arch, roughly 40 balloon clusters, and as a complete sign of my insanity, I promised to twist an 8 foot tall leaning tower of Pisa.  The arch will be my second arch ever.  No biggie.  Fill helium link o loons, tie them together in the color scheme needed and anchor them down.  Should be a piece of cake.  The 40 or so balloon clusters to be placed all around the room?  Another simple request.  But the 8 foot tall leaning tower of Pisa?  Yep, that is a toughie. 

If you are not a balloon twister, you might not be able to grasp what I am about to say, but to weave anything out of balloons for 9 feet in height with a circumference of around two and a half feet, you have to be insane.  I started last night at around 10pm and twisted until around 1am and I am not even above the 5 foot threshold.  I still have another four feet to finish tonight after I get home from twisting at my normal restaurant appearance.  Not only that, but once I finish the 9 feet, then I actually have to go back and create the columns so that it remotely will look like the leaning tower.  What have I done?  By the time I start tonight when I get home it won’t be until 9pm.  I’m easily looking at an all nighter tonight and then will be dragging my ass into church in the morning to continue the build and also to inflate the balloons for the arch, assemble the arch, infate for the clusters, tie the strings, and at that point try and catch a second wind so that I am actually able to enjoy the dinner that I am decorating for. 

Under promise and over deliver.  Whatever it takes, right?  I have doubts as to whether I will actually pull this off or not.  Even if I do, I have a strange feeling that I will end up leaving the event at some point early on to go home and get some sleep since I am scheduled to entertain at two different parties the following day. 

Ay Carumba.  This wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have to sit behind a computer at my day job wishing I was at home twisting that tower giving myself time to ensure that it truly does look like something I actually want to attach my name to.  Shame on my for pushing myself to the limit.  I will chalk this up as a lesson learned and remember next time someone asks me if I can twist something large scale to respond with a “no hablo english”.  

Hopefully I will be sticking with the under promise and over deliver vs. the over promise and under deliver path that I am currently on. 

Stay tuned…

Filed under: Church, Overcommitment, balloon, work

The Lobster Zone

So last night I am in a church meeting.  One of my favorite things about our church meeting is that we have a longstanding ritual that several of the guys from our team go out to the local bar after the meeting to enjoy a few frosty beverages.  I arrived at our regular hangout and found a table that would work for the six or seven of us expected to arrive shortly.  The Cubs are playing the Astros.  They are up 6 to 3 in the bottom of the eighth inning.  As I glance up at the flat screen display to watch Carlos Marmol lock down the bottom of the 8^th for the Cubs something bright red catches my eye in the game area of the bar.  I look down and to my surprise, it appears to be a large red aquarium.  “What’s an aquarium doing in a place like this” I wondered.  So I stood up and walked over.  As I got within reach of this bright red aquarium, my jaw drops as I realize that this is an aquarium full of lobsters.  Dangling above the lobsters is a large white claw.  I suddenly realize that this isn’t any normal aquarium full of lobsters.  This actually is a game.  Across the top of this game is the phrase “The Lobster Zone”.

The rest of my friends show up and apparently several of them have given it a go without success.  I was told that one of them was able to grasp onto the claw but not surprisingly a lobster isn’t too excited to have some big plastic claw grab onto it and it proceeded to freak out allowing it to escape the jaws of darkness. 

I don’t know why, but I have been thinking about this stupid machine ever since I left the bar last night.  A few interesting nuggets that are bouncing around my brain about the lobster zone. 

1. The lobster zone saved my friends turtles.  While looking at the machine I suddenly realized that my friend had asked me to feed his pet turtles while he took his family to Disney.  I was supposed to feed them on Tuesday.  The lobster zone reminded me on Wednesday night at around 10:00pm.  I left the bar early to go to his house to see if the turtles were still alive, and lucky for me they were.  If it weren’t for the lobster zone, I might have killed my friends turtles by forgetting to feed them for a whole week. 
2. Most of those games in the arcade area of any bar are purely glorified babysitters.  I should know, most of my childhood was spent playing video games in bars.  Any child of parents that are alcoholics know that it only takes a little whining to get a handful of dollar bills to spend while mommy and daddy get wasted.  Nothing kills a parental buzz more than a child that is bored at a bar.  With that in mind, if that game was in any of the bars my parents hung out in, I would be eating lobster every freaking day.  At that age, no child wants to eat the lobster anyway.  If it were me, at the age of 8 years old, if I caught a lobster, it was going to be my pet and no one would be eating it.  I have to wonder how many times mom and dad have been drinking with their friends, unaware that their little jimmy had entered “The Lobster Zone” and were shocked to see Jimmy walk up holding a lobster in his hands.  If it hasn’t happened yet, it’s bound to. 
3. Where does it end?  Lobsters now, what’s next?  Live bunnies?  Kitties? Gerbils?  I always thought that the worst carnival game in the world was the one where you could throw a ping pong ball into a goldfish bowl to win a gold fish.  Every little kid wants the gold fish and every parent cringes at the thought of having to buy some sort of aquarium and buy food to keep this little fish alive. The fish dies within 5 days (except one that my cousin won and the goldfish lived for like 10 years and grew to be ridiculous in size but that’s a different story) 
4. Where is PETA on this one?  I can’t believe that Lobsters being used as a prize in a game have to be too happy about it.  Any lobster could figure out that when the claw grabs a hold of you, it’s just a matter of going bezerk for a matter of moments to slide out of the claw.  At some point the poor lobsters have to get tired of it and they finally will give up.  For some reason I imagine the claw dropping and grabbing onto one lobster and while it begins lifting every other lobster begins screaming to the caught lobster waiting for it to begin freaking out and drop back down with the rest of them.  The screams end when he doesn’t fight.  The rest of them know that he didn’t have any fight left.  Awkward silence follows as they gasp in the horror…(this might make a great story line for a animated movie) 

 

Stay tuned.  Next time I’m in this bar, I’ll give it a go.  If you have any interest in seeing this machine in action, you can go to www.thelobsterzone.com.  If you go to the photos and video section you can see people playing it and you will understand my fascination.  My fascination with the Lobsterzone now borders my fascination with the McRibb sandwich.

Filed under: Church, The Lobster Zone

Trip to Indy

In life I generally live for the weekends.  Lately, Not so much.  In the past few months, I have welcomed Monday morning for the simple fact that I am comfortable sitting in a chair behind a desk being invisible.  Sad, but true. 

This past weekend my wife and I road tripped down to Indy for a half marathon that was being ran by one of my best friends and his wife.  It was a tough trip since I had to twist balloons at Nero’s Friday night and then we had to drive the four hours down to Indy after I was done.  We didn’t leave my house until after 9pm and rolled up to the hotel at 1am (2am local time).  My head hadn’t created an impression on the pillow before I was out like a light needing to be up in a little more than three hours. 

The nice thing was that my friend bought our hotel room for us using reward points, so this favor didn’t cost us anything other than gas money and time.  Our room was right across the hallway from their room.  The alarm clock went off and I went over to their room while their three children continued sleeping. They took our car off to the marathon start point and I laid down in the room while the children continued sleeping.  Within 5 minutes of arriving their 4 year old girl awoke.  My wife took her to the other room so she could watch cartoons while I stayed with the sleeping 6 year old and 2 year old boys. 

45 minutes later everyone was up and I changed my first diaper in a good 15 years.  My God son Lucio is apparently old enough to know when someone doesn’t know what he is doing in regards to diaper changing and laughed as I tried standing him up after the fact that I did it all wrong.  Three tries later and we were good to go.  Thirty minutes later I changed my second diaper in 15 years.  Good times. 

We got all three children dressed, took them down for breakfast, loaded them up in the car, drove down to the race, found parking, pulled out the stroller and off we went walking half a mile to get to the half marathon finish.  After waiting for 15 minutes, our friends met us at the family reunion area and all was good.  My friend ran a half marathon for the first time and finished well under the time he expected to.   It was neat to see a good friend achieve something that he had worked so hard for.  Having never ran before in his life, he went from hating the thought of running to running his first half marathon. 

When they were done, we headed back to the hotel with the children and handed them off to enjoy the rest of our weekend in Indy.  Met up with some of my wife’s college friends to watch their son’s 3 hour long pee wee baseball game (oh the humanity).  Luckily it was beautiful out so it was purely three hours of socializing with friends while we cheered their son whenever he was up to bat.  We did dinner with her friends and headed back the four hour drive home to enjoy a relaxing Sunday. 

This past weekend really opened my eyes to fatherhood.  It was pretty much the closest glimpse I have had to what it would be like having children.  We will give it a go.  One at first. Then maybe a second.  I doubt three because I could hardly take three on this trip.  I changed diapers, got children up, dressed them, fed them, hauled them in a car, pushed them around in strollers and everything else involved with taking care of a child.  It’s eye opening hard work.  It was hard enough to take care of three, much less 14 like that crazy octomom who just had 8 more.  Nuts. I think I’m kind of looking forward to fatherhood.

Filed under: Babies, weekend, wife

I am sick

Thankfully I made it through the weekend as this illness has slowly consumed my head and chest. 

Beginning Friday night thru Sunday night, I twisted balloons on six different occassions for six different events and by the time I got home Sunday night and hit the bed, I was ready for my weekend to begin.  That was at 9:30pm on a Sunday night.  Not much of a weekend for me.  Add to the craziness the fact that I am fighting off what I can only hope is Bronchitis since that would be a lot better than the swine flu and you have yourself one miserable individual. 

Swine Flu?  Seriously?  If I am ever to succumb to some sort of Pandemic I hope to God that it’s not called the Swine Flu.  Cholera.  Typhus.  Malaria.  Ebola.  Anything but the swine flu.  They are now calling it something like N1H1 since the Pork industry is suffering.  What did the people who named this think would happen?  Pork sales would skyrocket?  Hardly.  The only thing related to swine that would not have suffered is if they would have called it the “Bacon Flu”.  Call it McDonalds flu and I would believe that McDonalds sales would decline as well.

On a few different sad notes, the FDA stepped in today and halted all sales for my beloved Hydroxycut product. 

http://www.fda.gov/bbs/topics/NEWS/2009/NEW02006.html

I have been using this product for around 4 years off and on and now the FDA has come out and said that it causes liver damage.  Lawyers right now have to be salivating at the opportunity of a class action suit.  I’m in.  I don’t care who runs the show, count me in.  As if my routine consumption of alcohol isn’t enough for my poor liver, the idiots that created Hydroxycut Hardcore added a toxin that damages it as well.  I’ll take some time off of anything supplemental right now in an attempt to rebuild the relationship I once had with my liver.  What am I going to replace it with anyway?  Crack?  I have compared Hydroxycut Harcore to crack here in the past and I might just have to resort to that.  You don’t see the FDA warning you that crack will ruin your liver do you?  Besides, have you ever seen a fat crack head?  I haven’t. 

What is next to be recalled?  Energy Drinks? Red Bull, Monster, and Sobe are pretty much the same thing only in drink form. Someday maybe the FDA will realize that sugar makes people fat and they will ban all soda.

Danny Gans died today.  That is sad.  He was only 52 and one of Las Vegas’s premier performers.  I never saw him perform, but heard his show was one of the best on the strip.  This is almost as big as someone like Elvis dying in his prime while performing in Vegas…err…wait a minute…

Taking a breather from the twisted balloon twister life that I lead this weekend.  After performing 9 times in the past 7 days, I need a rest!  One of my best friends and his wife are running in a half marathon this weekend down in Indianapolis.  I’m heading down with them after I am done twisting balloons tonight to watch their children (my God children) while they run the marathon.  Two hours with three little ones should be fun.  Then it’s back home to enjoy hopefully a balloon free Sunday. 

Have a wonderful weekend!

Filed under: Crack Cocaine, Roid Rage juice, Vegas, balloon, ride the snake