Right now I am in the middle of a terrible string of luck. Lately, I have been taking blow after blow and see no end to the ferocious beat down being delivered by the State of Illinois. I am going to attempt to explain what has my boxers bunched up right now and I hope it makes sense.
This is a long post and I apologize for the length. I feel better to have laid my thoughts down in this post.
Backstory: My wife and I have three cars. When I met her she owned a 99 Hyundai Elantra. After I moved in with her my car died, so we bought me a 99 Chevy Prism. Our cars were small and did well. Last November we decided to get the wife a new Hyundai Santa Fe (SUV). The dealer wanted to offer us 50.00 for her Elantra, and I told him to take his 50 bucks and stick it somewhere. We kept the car since we have a spot for a third vehicle at our home.
Strategy behind keeping Elantra: Since we had just bought a very expensive SUV, we decided that I would drive my 99 Prism until it died. When that happened, I would still have the 99 Elantra to drive until it died, thus we would be saving money on car payments since both cars have been paid off since 2005. We are in no position to take on another car payment of 300 or more a month at this moment in time.
Asspain: So, here’s where this whole story comes together. On November 5th, I was driving home from my regular Thursday night pool league after a few beers. I got pulled over. That was a completely scary moment. Yes, I had a few beers, and No I was not in any way above the legal limit to drive. We are talking three beers over the course of 5 hours. Anyway, the reason the officer pulled me over was because my vehicle registration had expired in October. Typically my wife gives me the new sticker every year and the extent of my involvment is simply applying said sticker to the plates. I informed the officer that my wife typically handles and she must have forgotten to give me the new sticker. Apparently she hadn’t handled it because his magical computer showed that we had not renewed registration. I was given a ticket with a November 30th court date and was told if I had renewed before then I would not have to pay the fine. No big deal, I thought at the time.
The next day I told my wife about this, to which she asked me if I had taken my car to the Illinois Vehicle Emissions testing station yet. I vaguely remember her telling me to do that no less than 5 times. No, was my response and she told me that Illinois would not let me renew registration on my vehicle until I passed the Emissions test. Alrighty, off to the emissions testing station I went that day. I pull into the station, they hook something up to my car, and I am told that my 99 prism has failed and I am rudely told I have to take the vehicle to a mechanic to have whatever is wrong with it fixed. I have a few choice words I would use at this moment to describe my feelings about the state emissions test but i’ll save that for later. So, I take my car to a mechanic and it’s going to cost me no less than 700 dollars to replace the catalytic converter. This is a 10 year old car with 180,000 miles. Do I really want to drop 700 on this car? The mechanic did a overall check and told me it was in great shape and forsees in his magic ball that the only other thing that I will need to have done on this car in the next two years is a belt replacement. I chose not to have him do the repair yet because I had an ace up my sleeve. The Hyundai Elantra.
Double Asspain: The 99 Hyundai Elantra has sat outside in the cold through last years harsh winter and still sits there. I have driven it no more than two times. It did go on loan with my younger brother when he flew in for his Wedding in July, so it did get use for three days then. I did a quick check and to my disappointment the registration had expired on the Elantra back in September. Let me guess, I have to take this vehicle to the emissions station to have it tested before we can renew? Correct.
I drive the car a bit first to make sure it is safe. Filled the tires, put new oil in it, added some fuel line conditioner and checked all fluids. It worked just fine once all the kinks were worked out. Just like my prism, there was the check engine light on which worried me a bit, but at 175,000 miles one would expect a check engine light. Instead of it reading “check engine”, it should say “drive at your own risk, this car is old”. Off to the emissions testing station I went to pass the test and renew registration on this vehicle until I had an extra 700.00 laying around to fix the prism. I pulled into the testing station, waited with a smile to pass only to be told by the air team guy that this vehicle also has failed. Double whammy.
I spoke with the mechanic and told him that I would be picking up my prism without the work being done and I would drop off the Elantra with the hopes that it wasn’t a 700 fix. Luckily is was only 150.00 and the Elantra should pass now that repair was done. I picked up the Elantra two nights ago with the repairs done and thought all was good in the world.
Which brings me to yesterday morning. I have to drive the Elantra for two days before I can have it rechecked by the mechanic to ensure that it will pass the emissions test. So, with my first morning commute to the office with the newly repaired Elantra I drive for 10 minutes and decided to crack the window a bit. As soon as I pushed the window down button, the entire window fell of the track and dropped all the way into the door. So there I was driving this car in 40 degree temps for 45 minutes with the drivers side window all the way down. Awesome. I parked in the garage at work and sulked for the day. How much will this cost I wonder?
So, after a chilly drive home last night, I decided that I might be smart enough to fix it myself. Maybe save some money. Big mistake. Have you ever taken the side panel off of a door before? Don’t do it. I had many years ago when I was in my early 20’s and it took me more than 10 years to forget that I should never be allowed near a car with tools. Outside of replacing a car battery, head light, or rear light bulb, I shouldn’t even think about it. Especially on a foreign car.
So…this morning, after picking the car up from the mechanic no less than 36 hours ago, I dropped it off again with the explainer on the key envelope for early drop offs: “Front window is broke or off track, I tried to fix it but made things much worse, door handle and lock no longer functions as well, please call me with the cost to repair”. I tried blaming my wife for letting me attempt to fix it myself. She had none of that.
Triple Asspain: At this point I am ready to drive the Elantra into a lake and call it a day. Other than the fact that I just dumped 150.00 into it two days ago, I don’t want to get rid of it. Honestly, I would just park the Elantra back outside and have my Prism fixed knowing what I know now, but the problem is that the Elantra no longer has a front drivers side window. What, am I going to put plastic and duct tape over the window and leave it in my drive way? No, I am not that ghetto. So, here I sit clinching my buttocks waiting for the phone call to come telling me that I have to pay four hundred or more to get the Elantra fixed. More to come on this story. (as if it wasn’t long enough)
Oh, and through all of this, I was unable to get my registration renewed on the Prism before my November 30th court date, so I had to pay a 75.00 fine on that as well.
Rant: The State of Illinois and their Vehicle Emissions Requirments are in my own opinion a very pointless and corrupt process. I can’t count the number of times I have followed a vehicle spewing forth gag worthy exhaust. Neither the Prism or the Elantra emit anything that hurt the enviroment. The mechanic said that the Catylitic converter is not really bad, but beginning to go, and the Elantra had a vacuum leak in the evap system (purge solenoid) which wasn’t a big issue either. Seriously. This is BS that has and will end up costing me a total of 1500.00 to get both cars pass this stupid vehicle emissions test which I now fully believe was put into law by corrupt politicians that were greased by mechanics. Conspiracy theory? I don’t see it as so, just a law that requires cars to be fixed when they are actually doing very little to no harm on the environment. The fact that registration on both vehicles are being held hostage until I drop this kind of money with the mechanic’s make me downright ill. I will not bow down to this corruption and buy a new vehicle as I am sure this whole emissions process was designed to motivate vehicle owners to do.
Blah.
Recent Comments